"Mischief Mischief" is the fifth episode of the sixth season of Orange Is the New Black. It is the seventieth episode of the series overall. It premiered on July 27, 2018. It was written by Anthony Natoli and directed by Andrew McCarthy.
Luschek invited all the guards over for a Fantasy Inmate draft party. Alvarez goes over the rules of the game. He gives them a list of names of the inmates to be drafted by Luschek steals his moment and shows them a new program called FanDraft. He hacked the software to input the inmate data. They all decide to nominate Luschek as the new commissioner of the game. Alvarez is not very happy and is comforted by Ginger.
Lorna is in her cell rubbing her belly as she sings to her baby. Her roommate shows her the pet rat that she's keeping and how she's pregnant. She tells Lorna that maybe they can relate to each other since they're both knocked up. Natalie Figueroa and Linda Ferguson have a drink together. Linda tells Fig that she wants to foster a positive working relationship with MCC. She says that Joe Caputo was incompetent because his leadership led to a riot. Linda tells Fig that she knows Joe conspired to keep her in prison even though there was an extra inmate in the count. Fig tells her that actually there wasn't an extra inmate, they were one short until they found Mei Chang. Linda is adamant that Joe must've fudged the numbers but Fig realizes that they are still missing an inmate. Linda says that she needs to call a manhunt but Fig tells her that that's her job. Fig also tells Linda that she slept with Joe.
Coates, Lee Dixon, and Tiffany Doggett are in a bar playing darts. They hear over the news that they're issuing a manhunt and are looking for Doggett. They head back to the hotel and start packing. Doggett says that she has to go back and finish out her sentence. She tries to leave the room but Charlie grabs her and stops her, which hurts her. He tells her that they can have a normal life in Canada. Doggett asks him if he's willing to go to prison because of her and he says yes. He tells her that they can go camping and hike over the border. Charlie leaves to go check his trunk and see if he has a tent. Dixon tells Doggett that they can ditch Charlie. She says no. Dixon's phone vibrates because his Uber has arrived. Before he leaves, Tiffany hands him the stuffed bear.
Blake is the first to select his inmate. He selects Carol Denning. They tell him that's a mistake because the Denning sisters keep their noses clean. Luschek tells him to pick again and this time he chooses Barbara Denning. The others begin to select inmates as they pass around a joint. Rick Hopper picks Dayanara Diaz. Virginia "Ginger" Copeland picks Piper Chapman. CO Stefanovic picks Nicky Nichols. Artesian McCullough picks Maria Ruiz.
Maria is helping clean the hall with two other inmates, Vazquez and an unknown one. Other inmates have littered toilet paper everywhere because of mischief night. The two inmates start talking about ghosts but Maria says she doesn't believe in ghosts. Vazquez says that people are coming for Maria as they leave to clean the breakroom. Lorna and Nicky are taken out of their cells in the early morning to go clean by Artesian McCullough and D. Stefanovic Lorna asks her if she got any extra time and Nicky says no but in doing so she had to implicate Red. Lorna tells her that she can't blame herself because it's every man for herself. That she didn't get extra time because she surrendered like Nicky wanted. They go on to talk in detail about Lorna's nipples.
The on radio personality tells Litchfield Max to instead of causing mischief because of Mischief night to do acts of kindess. While she's talking over the radio, Madison is busy pushing pieces of cheese up Piper's nose. Piper tells her that that doesn't count as a prank. Madison tells Piper that she has to fill her commissary because Piper owes her for moving Alex next door. Piper says fine that she'll do it. Piper goes to talk to Alex about the situation. Alex says that Madison is just trying to establish her dominance.
Frieda's dead roommate is wheeled away. Frieda implies that she was dead for much longer before they found her. Suzanne tells Frieda that in order to grieve she has to be with friends. Suzanne gets the idea to request to be her roommate. Frieda says no. Suzanne asks Frieda to go with her outside but Frieda has been passing on her yard privileges. Suzanne says that if Frieda isn't going to go then she isn't going to go either. Frieda tells Suzanne to leave her cell before she too has to be carried out by a stretcher. Suzanne walks away.
Taystee and Red are standing in line for the showers in the hallway. Taystee asks Red how she killed Piscatella. Red says that she didn't kill him, that they dragged her out in handcuffs. Taystee asks then who did kill him. Red says it doesn't matter because they just want them to go down. Taystee says that she isn't going to spend the rest of her life in this place. Ward interrupts their conversation and they walk into the showers. McCullough goes and wakes up a sleeping Maria. She tells Maria that she is tossing her cell and to go stand by the wall. McCullough starts pushing everything to the floor. Maria says that this is bullshit so McCullough slaps her. After, McCullough heads to the bathroom to have a cigarette. She uses the burning end and pushes it against her thigh as she burns a circle there.
Madison talks to Alex. Alex tells her that she heard Madison is a prankster. Madison asks if this is going to be a problem. Alex says no but Piper might mind. Alex mentions how Madison is using Piper and makes a deal with her. Piper will fill up her commissary this time but after that Madison will leave her alone. Madison agrees because she says it's important to have good karma.
Gloria Mendoza, Piper, and Blanca Flores are in the kitchen sorting cheese. Gloria goes to get more cheese and finds a fake spider which scares her. Blanca tells Gloria that Maria is probably thinking of ways to take them down and that they need to strike first. The CO tells them to hurry up and clean so that they can head out to the yard. Gloria and Blanca stand aside while they watch Maria and Daya come into the yard. Daya goes up to them and talks to Gloria about Maria. Blanca is for sure thinks that Maria is planning something. Copeland and Alvarez are leaning against the wall talking about Fantasy Inmate. Copeland looks at Piper and makes up an excuse to go talk to her. Copeland shows Piper that she has glue and part of her missing tooth but that Piper has to do something for her to get it. Copeland tells her that she needs to start an altercation with Maria. Piper decides to do it. She goes up to Maria and pulls her hair. Copeland and McCullough quickly pull them apart. Copeland is satisfied because she got Fantasy Inmate points.
Maria, meanwhile, is left alone since she hasn't affiliated herself with a gang. Suzanne introduces herself to another inmate but the inmate is old and misunderstands her. Suzanne begins to waste her time by jumping around and playing by herself. Frieda tells her that the floor is lava so she jumps on the table. Something falls to the ground underneath the table and Frieda goes over to investigate. Whatever it is, she stuffs it into the front of her pants. Joe visits Linda at her office. He tells her that he's there to talk about Taystee and asks her if she's aware that the FBI is going to charge her with the murder of Piscatella. Joe says that they are crucifying her to cover their own ass. He suggests that MCC have their own separate investigation. Linda says that she doesn't care. Joe tries to apologize to Linda for her being stuck in prison but Linda says that she doesn't accept his apology. Linda says that she saw he applied for his old job back. Linda tells him that she has an opening at Missouri State Penitentiary. Joe says that that's where wardens go to die and that they're trying to bury him. Linda says that if he doesn't accept she'll sue him. He says that it doesn't look like he has a choice.
Suzanne and Frieda are examining the wooden sticks that they found. Suzanne asks for them back but Frieda says no. Suzanne doesn't understand that they're dangerous. Frieda has a feeling that someone is trying to hurt somebody and that somebody is her. Suzanne says that she hopes that person isn't her new roommate. Frieda says they can fix all that by having Suzanne be her roommate. Suzanne asks if this makes them friends and Frieda says why not. Charlie and Tiffany are camping in the woods. Charlie is having trouble starting a fire. Tiffany tries to help him but he gets upset. He ends up burning his hand and he starts to throw a fit. He says that he's really stressed out about Tiffany's situation. Tiffany says that people can't change but Charlie says that people can change but it has to be a decision.
Joe is on the phone trying to figure out how much it would cost to move his house. He begins to go through his stuff in the garage when his phone rings. It's Taystee. Joe tells her that she met with the Senior Vice President of MCC and that he said it wasn't her department. Taystee says that he promised to help her. Joe says he tried to help her. He tells Taystee that she always does what she wants to do so why doesn't she just go on and fight it herself. He tells her that he's done and hangs up the phone.
Daya is putting her tray away when Daddy comes up and gives her some more oxycodone. Maria talks to Daddy and offers to help her out. Daddy says that she heard about her helping the guards escape. She says thanks but no thanks to Maria's help. Daddy talks to Nicky and it looks like they know each other. Daddy asks if she's still clean and Nicky says yes, it is unknown if this is a good or bad thing for Daddy as she is a drug dealer. Piper is sitting at the table trying to glue her tooth back together. Alex walks up and Piper asks where she's been. Apparently, she was with Madison pulling pranks. This upsets Piper who feels that the attention has just shifted from her to Alex and hasn't really solved their problem. Alex says that maybe she made a friend. Alex then helps Piper put her tooth back together.
Suzanne is lying in bed talking above Frieda. Frieda lays awake because she can't fall asleep due to Suzanne's incessant talking. Maria is busy cleaning the bathroom stalls. She starts to cry as she cleans. Suddenly, someone comes up behind her and shoves her face into the toilet. She struggles but finally gives up. Just as she's about to pass out they pull her face out of the water. Tiffany lies awake while Charlie sleeps. She gives him a kiss before getting up and starting a fire. She looks back at Charlie before she grabs a flashlight and starts walking away.
Lorna is upset because the rats have gone. Nicky and Lorna are assigned mopping duty. Annalisa refuses to turn down the radio after Nicky states she hates Cathy. Cathy comes on the radio and suddenly starts screaming that someones trying to kill her. The CO with them leaves and the other inmates begin to dump out their buckets. They are full of rats. Lorna is happy because she recognizes them as the rats that were missing. Nicky refuses to help but Lorna says she has to or else Daddy will be mad at her. Nicky, Lorna, and the other two inmates are escorted out of the room as Piper and Blanca's group walks in. Nicky tries to warn Piper about the rats but Copeland ends up discovering them after opening a box of cheese. All the inmates start to scream.
Tiffany goes to the police station and surrenders herself.
Memorable Quotes Edit
- "I guess caffeine really is a gateway drug"
- — Luschek mocking Blake, who ended up smoking weed
- "You stupid dum-dum!"
- — Piper Chapman to Maria Ruiz, quoting Copeland
When Luschek show the guards at the fantasy draft his FanDraft board, number 04 in his top available players list reads Marisol Gonzalez, better known as Flaca. However, the photo posted is not one of Flaca, but a different inmate. Unless there are two “Marisol Gonzalez”, this is most likely an error.