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"Little Mustachioed Shit" is the tenth episode of the second season of Orange Is the New Black. It is the twenty-third episode of the series overall. It premiered on June 6, 2014. It was written by Sian Heder and directed by Jennifer Getzinger.
Piper is welcomed back by Red and she describes her furlough. She lies to Red saying that her business is doing well to make her happy. Piper tells Red it's definitely over with Larry and that she thinks he slept with their neighbor.
In the cafeteria, the gang of black girls led by Vee bully the others around making people change seats. Rosa calls her a "very rude woman" and Vee responds, "you wound me".
The women laughs when Miss Rosa leaves and claims that they are 'ballers up in here'. Black Cindy then brings in treats from the Commissary to the other girls delight. They all praise Vee who then says you have to find a way to work the system.
Red and Sophia talk and we find out Sophia's son is coming to visit. Red advises Sophia not to be disappointed if her son does not notice her new hair because boys are stupid and never notice things like that. Sophia tells her that it's the first time Michael has visited, and that he was the one who turned her in. Sophia claims that her son was pissed off and ashamed, as he was only twelve and was angry, which is understandable as he has been through a lot. Sophia says she wants him to vent and get it all out whereas Red says she would kick him to death and says "we all have our own way of parenting".
Soso carries on arguing about the conditions in the prison and refuses to eat. Once again, all the girls get sick of her and tease her as they don't agree with what she is saying, as she sits down Black stuffs food in her mouth.
Nicky then goes to see Piper who shows her the envelope of the letter written by Alex. Piper says she hasn't read it to Nicky's surprise who claims that not reading it takes some serious willpower. Piper says Alex wants her to jump at the chance of reading the letter but that Alex can't possibly say anything more to her because she is a liar. Nicky asks, "Doesn't everyone lie to everyone?". Piper says Alex wants her to crack and then Alex will be able to easily apologize. Nicky responds by saying that she still isn't going to throw it away either though because she misses Alex; Piper agrees but says she is sick of the hold Alex has over her.
Mendez then makes a joke out of Red when she comes out of the eating hall and whilst Red is visibly annoyed, Mendez just laughs. Mendez then starts annoying Bennett. Fig is angry at the prison propaganda article being published and claims she doesn't want to see this shit again. Joe Caputo then tells her that Mendez got the inmate pregnant and is surprised when she says she is keeping him at work for now. He then asks if he can be the one to fire Mendez when the time comes and she says fine.
Taystee and Poussey then argue about the way people are acting around Vee. The confrontation leads to Taystee saying "get the fuck out of my bunk". Just as this happens another inmate alerts them that there is a sweep about to take place. Morello and Nicky are then talking and Morello worries about her makeup being too much and Nicky responds by saying the leery look looks hot; Morello laughs and leaves. Nicky then panics and hides the heroin baggie that Taystee gave her in her clothes whilst under the watchful eye of Gina. A guard finds some cigarettes in Watson's bunk and takes her to the SHU. Watson looks at Vee who has no response.
Mendez starts assailing Daya when he is checking her bunk. When he is complimenting her she just looks blankly in front of her. He finds a rose and smells it and then says "I'm gonna let you keep that", then walks away. The guards are all looking at the items they have found and then realize that they smell like sewage. The guess that someone is bringing something through their rectal area and one of the guards then says "someone has been slacking with the squat and cough". She says that there should be more thorough searches but the others say they are not allowed.
Pennsatucky and Healy are having a conversation in his office where she says her state of mind is a four out of ten. He asks if she has any angry thoughts; she sarcastically asks him the exact same question and he says that is projection. He says he wants to start a support group. She says no-one will come but Healy thinks otherwise. Poussey and Vee have a confrontation. Fig, whilst with Caputo, asks if Daya is sure officer Mendez forced himself on her. Miss Figueroa then asks Joe to leave and then asks Daya one to one whether it was consensual. Daya reluctantly says yes and Fig replies, "Congratulations. You just ruined a man's life".
Sophia's son Michael and wife Crystal come to visit. Michael is silent. Sophia says, "anything you want to say to me you can say it". Her wife suggests they play cards and goes to get them to quell the awkwardness. Meanwhile, Piper visits with a reporter, Andrew Nance, who claims that there is corruption in the prison and asks for invoices of who is getting paid. Piper mocks him when he says he can give her a camera. Sophia and her son seem to be getting on well when playing cards and she and her wife smile at each other. Andrew Nance runs into Fig as he is leaving who is annoyed at him being there and asks who he was there to see.
An announcement says Morello has a visitor to her and Nicky's surprise, Morello then leaves. Gina Murphy who saw Nicky with the drugs confronts her but Nicky says she wont take any. To Morello's surprise, her visitor is Christopher but when she says hi and holds her hand out he says, "don't fucking touch me". He says he knows she broke into his house but the cops don't believe him. He threatens her life by telling her to never come near his family again whilst raising his voice so people stare. Meanwhile, Nicky comes to the window of the visitation room and gestures towards Christopher, mouthing "is that him?". Morello nods awkwardly, still trying to save face and act like Christopher is her fiancé. He sees what is happening and loudly claims Morello is a stalker and they only went on one date. Nicky realizes all is not what it seems and looks on sympathetically when Morello runs out. Morello cries and says no-one is ever going to love her but Nicky says "I do", and they hug.
Piper calls and asks Larry who he slept with, as it's obviously getting to her. Vee and Crazy Eyes approach her and tell her in an intimidating manner that her phone time is up so Piper says goodbye and hangs up. Healy and Pennsatucky sit at the support group surrounded by empty chairs as no-one is coming.
Polly comes to see Piper and in that moment Piper realizes that it was Polly who slept with Larry but she doesn't directly admit that she knows. Back in her bunk, Piper starts punching the wall as her hand bleeds. Red walks in, and a dismayed Piper tells her she knows who slept with Larry. Red encourages her to stop punching a wall and start plotting her revenge. Piper asks if she can be left alone. Once Red leaves, Piper takes out the letter Alex sent her and starts to read it.
Vee and Red confront each other in the greenhouse. Nicky gets the drugs and starts smelling them, seemingly unable to resist. Nicky then goes to see Red in the greenhouse and she gives the drugs to Red, claiming that she will have them if Red doesn't take them off her. Upon Nicky's immediate arrival, Red asks her if people can change. Red asks who gave it to her and she says Taystee, who got it from Vee. Red hugs Nicky saying she did good for not taking them. Red seems to have found the answer to her initial question. A drunk Poussey charges at Vee in the bathroom and Crazy Eyes then intervenes and with Vee's approval starts beating Poussey up; as she lies on the floor the others leave and Poussey cries on the floor.
Piper calls her brother Cal's house and his wife picks up. Piper says she needs her to do her a favor. The next scene is Polly opening her door to a burning bag of poop like the one seen in the flashback of her and Piper getting one off Sylvie. Polly realizes Piper knows about her and Larry sleeping together and says to herself, "I deserved that".
Caputo and Mendez are in the office and he tells Mendez that Daya is pregnant, before taking great delight in firing him and saying he is under arrest as the police come in.
As Mendez is taken away, reporters ask Fig questions and she says there is a zero-tolerance policy of assault. As she is talking we see Mendez being led out as all of the women stare at him. He winks at Bennett and says "wait for me" to Daya and shouts "I love this woman!". He says he is going to take care of her and randomly asks her to call the baby Stan if it's a boy. As he leaves, Daya and Bennett look at each other, Daya disgusted with Bennett.
Note: Flashbacks are arranged in chronological order, not the order in which they occur on the show.
Piper Chapman and Alex Vause
The episode begins with a flashback where Piper is having sex with Alex. Piper admits she has limited experience with women and Alex reassures her she will coach her through it. Alex gets up to take a phone call from Amsterdam when a person wearing a hoodie enters the room and attacks Piper. Alex comes back and Piper's attacker turns out to be Sylvie, Alex's girlfriend, who tells Alex to get rid of Piper.
Polly and Piper are discussing the situation at Piper's house when the doorbell rings. They go outside to the porch where there is a burning paper bag on the floor and when Piper stamps on it poop comes out. Polly says its an old prank and Piper realizes it's from Sylvie.
Some time later, Piper is at the bar. Piper waits until Alex goes past and then she follows her. She finds Alex waiting for the toilet and starts talking to her and flirting. Piper says she came for the burlesque show and Alex says her friend is in it. Alex apologizes for that night (when Piper was attacked by Sylvie) and claims that she is not a shady person. Piper jokingly says being punched was a good life experience, Alex says she meant it that her relationship with Sylvie was complicated. When Alex says she doesn't do well with rules, Piper says that's the problem - rules are not fun. The toilet door opens and the person in there leaves. Piper says that she will back off if Sylvie is Alex's future wife and then claims that she was never really a sexual person until she met Alex. She then whispers seductively in Alex's ear that she wants to "taste what you taste like". The two then kiss and enter the cubicle together.
Afterwards, there is a scene in which Piper asks Alex if she loves Sylvie, to which Alex responds that she doesn't love Sylvie, she loves Piper. Piper says it back, and the two kiss.
- Last appearance of Andrew Nance.