"Fuck, Marry, Frieda" is the second episode of the fifth season of Orange Is the New Black. It is the fifty-fourth episode of the series overall. It premiered on June 9, 2017. It was written by Jordan Harrison and directed by Constantine Makris.
COs Stratman and Blake, still locked in the kitchen with Kasey Sankey, Brandy Epps, Skinhead Helen, and Frieda Berlin caged in the pantry, play "Fuck, Marry, Kill" with the inmates as a way to pass the time. Frieda does not participate, as she is busy crafting something. This "something" turns out to be homemade blow darts, which she shoots both COs with while they are distracted. Manipulating Stratman and Blake into letting them out of the pantry by convincing them the darts were poisoned, Frieda and the others go free and force the COs to join the other hostages. Frieda does not join the riot with her fellow captives; instead, she goes down to a small bunker she has made for herself in an abandoned part of the prison, stocked with supplies she has hoarded.
Dayanara Diaz wakes up in CO Piscatella's office after being knocked out cold, finding the gun missing. Maria Ruiz offers to take over the leadership of the riot if Daya will hand over the gun, but, not wanting to admit she has lost it, Daya declines. Later, Maria, having taken charge despite not having the gun, stages a meeting with all the inmates in the chapel. She and her sidekicks distribute several cell phones taken from the guards' lockers to the rest of the women. The main event comes when the captive COs - Artesian McCullough, Joel Luschek, Lee Dixon, and CO Davis - are paraded in front of the audience and subjected to intense humiliation, including a public stripping and, in Dixon's case, a forced cavity search. This prompts Alex Vause to walk out, declaring she wants nothing to do with the riot.
Taystee, Black Cindy, Janae Watson, and Alison Abdullah are still sitting out the riot in Joe Caputo's office, but they are frustrated that their "Truth about the Litchfield Prison Murder" video has not gone as viral as they hoped. Instead, they find that Cindy - and the coffee beverage she was drinking in the video - have become a meme titled "Black Lattes Matter." They bemoan the fact that their attempt to call attention to the injustice of Poussey Washington's death is not being taken seriously. Later, Ouija, Cabrera, and Daya (pretending to still have the gun by sticking her hand in a gun shape in her pocket) come to collect Caputo and Josh the PR rep from Taystee and company, who reluctantly join the riot.
Judy King, cowering in the library, convinces a reluctant Soso to go out and see what is happening. Still wracked by grief over the death of Poussey, Soso insists that her late girlfriend would have wanted her books to be safe and only agrees to leave the library on the condition that Judy will guard the books. After witnessing the scene in the chapel, Soso is devastated to find that Judy has disappeared and the library has been looted.
Outside the prison, a small group of COs from max as well as local police have shown up on the scene, but dither over how to respond to the situation inside. Piscatella, having been off duty when the riot broke out, shows up and is dismayed by the other officers' reluctance to storm the prison.
In the medical ward, CO Humphrey has been strapped to a gurney in between Suzanne Warren and Maureen Kukudio as he recovers from his gunshot wound. Suzanne and Maureen, who are in medical after Humphrey forced them to fight each other ("People Persons"), speculate on ways they might kill him in revenge. Inspired by a conversation on how historical societies executed people using what was on hand, Maureen covertly blows oxygen bubbles into Humphrey's IV, causing him to have a stroke. Humphrey survives, but is profoundly disabled. Later, he is taken as a hostage as well.
After Caputo and the other straggler COs are rounded up, all the hostages are stripped and forced to pose for a photo in the chapel.
A flashback to the 1950s shows a preteen Frieda as a dedicated member of the Nature Scouts. While the other girls in her troop are preoccupied with arts and crafts and the antics of famous actresses, Frieda is tomboyish and, under the tutelage of her father, an avid survivalist. While this makes Frieda the target of ridicule, she is unfazed.
One morning, having spent the night camping in the woods with her father, Frieda wakes up alone. After finding a small pot, a knife, a sewing needle, and a jar of water neatly laid out for her, she realizes her father has left her alone on purpose to test her. Using the needle as a compass, Frieda sets out to leave the woods, but detours by the river to catch a fish and go swimming - a decision she regrets when she comes out covered in leeches.
When Frieda arrives home, she finds her father in his Cold War bunker, which is stocked with food and supplies. He has timed her on the amount of time it took her to find her way home, and gently admonishes her that the Soviets - who he believes will imminently conquer the United States - won't make mistakes so neither can she.
Memorable Quotes Edit
- "We was just tryin' to have a racially inclusive riot and shit."
- — Ouija Aziza
- "We Russians have no proverbs, we have vodka and misery."
- — Red
Main Cast Edit
Guest Starring Edit
- The episode was leaked on April 28, 2017.
- Last appearance of Felix Rikerson