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Bambi Artesian McCullough is one of the new COs at Litchfield hired by MCC in Season Four, chosen for being a military veteran. After being a hostage of the riot at Litchfield Minimum Security, she suffered from PTSD. After the riot she was transferred to Maximum Security. She started to bring illegal contraband, such as powerbanks, for gaining a bit of extra money, with the help of inmate Alex Vause. She is an anti-hero in Season Seven.



Personality[]

McCullough is shown to be laconic and serious. She does not tolerate the boorish and often sexist antics of her male co-workers. It is implied that she is slightly racist towards black people. She seems to be one of the nicer guards, sometimes willing to help out the inmates or empathise with them.

After the riot, McCullough develops a self-hating attitude and begins stubbing cigarettes out on her thighs. She develops extreme PTSD, and anxiety as a result of it, saying she wakes up in 'sweat puddles', 'jumps when she hears a loud noise' and is angry at herself as she keeps seeing the inmates as horrible. She ultimately believes they are human and just wants to get through the day.

Physical Appearance[]

McCullough is a blonde white woman. She keeps a fringe and uses minimal makeup at work. After the riot she does wear more makeup.

According to CO Stratman, "She could totally be cute if she got, like, 'Princess-Diary'ed".

In Season Six, she begins self-harming and has several burn marks on her thighs.

As seen in Season Seven, she has a large tattoo saying 'Texas' on her torso. This is not due to being from that state, but because she learned it means "Hello, friend" in the Caddo language while studying Native American cultures as a child.

Biography[]

Before Litchfield[]

Before she came to work at Litchfield, McCullough served in the armed forces in Afghanistan. She often outperformed her male colleagues but was belittled due to her gender.

In order to prove her camaraderie, she organized a niqabi-themed stripper to perform at the twenty-first birthday of her colleague Pena, earning her respect with the male soldiers. However, after the party, one of the other soldiers named Danté assaulted her whilst she was asleep, forcing his hand down her trousers. She woke up, pushing him away in horror and disgust. She reported the incident, but Danté told everyone she was lying and trying to frame him. The male soldiers lost all respect for McCullough the following morning, believing that she had made false allegations. The group was later engaged in active combat - while the rest of her squad was slaughtered, McCullough stayed in the truck, narrowly avoiding the bloodshed. ("Just Desserts")

As a veteran, McCullough went through eight jobs, including working at Dairy Queen and Walmart, and dressing up as the Little Mermaid for a children's party. She got fired many times due to her PTSD making her lash out and use profanity in the vicinity of children.

Season Four[]

McCullough is one of the new guards hired by MCC in order for the corporation to receive financial incentives for hiring military veterans.

She escorts Maritza on van duty, foiling Maritza's original plan to charm one of the male guards into going into the house so that Maria's cousin Hector could retrieve the used panties hidden by Flaca in the bottom of the vehicle. The two eventually form a slight bond, and McCullough gives Maritza a tampon whilst Maritza agrees to give McCullough makeup tutorials.

While she can be uncaring towards many of MCC's policies and her fellow guards' activities, she shows concern when she overhears Maritza throwing up in the bathroom (after CO Humphrey's torture of her). Recalling that Humphrey improperly had Maritza in the guards' house alone, she wonders if he may have had something to do with her state, and she and Stratman discuss Humphrey's possibly sociopathic nature. They consider that Humphrey may have raped her, and worry over the implications for the rest of the guards. She debates reporting the incident but Stratman sways her decision. He explains that they are part of a "brotherhood", meaning they have to look out for one another. McCullough reluctantly agrees and chooses to remain passive on the situation.

When the guards begin shutting down the peaceful protest in the cafeteria, McCullough attempts to assist Baxter Bayley in apprehending Suzanne Warren, but she is unsuccessful and calls out to Piscatella for help.

When Caputo asks the guards if Poussey was violent following her accidental death at Bayley's hands, McCullough and Luschek are the only ones who do not respond in the affirmative, clearly disturbed.

At the end of Season Four, McCullough is shown being held at gunpoint along with Humphrey by inmate Daya. The scene ends on a cliffhanger.

Season Five[]

McCullough becomes one of the guard hostages after the prison takeover.

When the guards were forced to strip in front of the entire prison population, Flaca and Maritza took the job of stripping McCullough, who protested that she and Maritza had bonded. Maritza tries to cheer her up, saying she has a beautiful body. Later on, she was the first hostage to realize that Daya no longer had the gun after overhearing her talking to Mendoza during the group photo.

For the talent show, she did a "helping hands" act with one of the other hostages, who took the opportunity to grope her, much to her annoyance. Later, she is rented to Cindy and Alison with the other COs to occupy Suzanne. She stands up for Suzanne when Ouija ties her up, saying that it's not necessary.

McCullough was later escorted along with the other guards to the outhouses as part of Mendoza's plan to release them in exchange for having her sentence commuted, and was seen visibly crying at her situation. Later, Ruiz stole Mendoza's plan and freed the hostages. When Ruiz was mistakenly told she could go home, McCullough was quick to correct the situation and point out Ruiz was actually an inmate, apparently still angry at Ruiz for forcing her and the other COs to strip.

Season Six []

After the events of the riots, McCullough, along with Ryder Blake and Joel Luschek, returns to work at Litchfield, this time at Max. Later in the break room, McCullough asks Luschek how he can be this calm, considering what happened the last time they were inside of a prison. Rick Hopper and the other CO's then enter the room and invite all three newcomers to Fantasy Inmate. Blake tells the others he does not gamble, but McCullough signs both herself and Blake up anyway. At the end of their shifts, Luschek invites both Blake and McCullough to a party. McCullough reveals she is moonlighting as a taxi driver, as she needs the money and can't sleep anyway. While Blake seems concerned about McCullough, Luschek just wonders if she has gotten sexier. ("I'm the Talking Ass")

After the riots, McCullough seems to suffer from major PTSD. She has nightmares, burns herself with cigarettes, and drinks excessively to cope. She holds a grudge against Ruiz, hitting her in the face and picking her for Fantasy Inmate.

During kickball practice, Badison doesn't take the training seriously and kicks the ball so it gets stuck in the rafters. Piper retrieves it whilst Luschek and McCullough help her by holding the ladder. McCullough asks if Head of Rec gets extra money because she can't drive for Lyft anymore, saying that people don't like being driven by someone who is crying. Piper sees the field from the rafters, and Badison backs her up when Piper begs to be able to use the field for kickball. He agrees. Artesian pleads to Luschek, saying this will start a riot as they're outnumbered out there. He states that it's not a riot if they're fighting each other ("Chocolate Chip Nookie").

She becomes overwhelmed when a group of D-Block girls become upset about having to go back inside during their kickball practice, so she draws her baton and lashes out, screaming for everyone to get on the ground. Stefanovic comes and helps her calm down, (and also implying that they should have sex, which disgusts her), sending everyone inside. Later, Ward, who smells cigarette smoke in the CO's bathroom, climbs the stall and sees McCollough with burn marks all over her legs. Artesian shouts at her and she apologises. She says it's fine. Ward tells her that she heard of the PTSD and McCollough says it was her fault, not theirs, and that they were just excited to play kickball, but also shares that she has nightmares and panics. She empathises with the inmates and is angry at herself because she constantly sees the bad of the inmates. Ward hands her a paper towel. ("Double Trouble")

Alvarez announces the end of Fantasy Inmate. Artesian states that prison is fucked and the fact they play fantasy inmate is terrible. Hopper mocks her saying that they've never had a riot in Max thanks to fantasy inmate. Later, she takes the inmates outside for kickball when Maria comes up to her and requests to change the teams for kickball. She readies her baton as she thinks Maria is going to hurt her. She thinks that Maria is threatening her when Maria suggests warfare will break out. She then tells Maria that she remembers what Maria did during the riot. Maria says she's trying to be a good person at this moment. Artesian listens and agrees, which results in the war between C- and D-Block being cancelled. She smiles watching the inmates play, but gets annoyed when Stefanovic tries to stand near her. ("Be Free")

Season Seven[]

McCullough is seen being picked up by Joel Luschek because her cars tranmission is being fixed. Luschek makes suggestive comment saying she can pay him back however she wants. She responds that she is going to take the bus the next day. Luschek tells her she can't as the bus doesn't come early enough for the new drug checks. McCullough complains as she has to come in early, without pay, when everyone know who is smuggling the drugs in. Luschek is confused by this as he does not know who is. She tells him it is obviously Greg Hellman because there is no way you can eat three burritos a day and have his figure. Luschek makes a comment about how she has been checking out his figure. McCollough tells him there is no way and she wishes he would get caught. Luschek asks her if shes thinking about snitching because that means jail time for Hellman. She tells him no, as shes part of the team.

Rick Hopper reveals that head guard is up for grabs as he is becoming the new warden of Litchfield. CO Dixon says he's not sure about it as it seems like a headache. Hellman says it also come with 65k a year so it's not bad. Dixon is suprised as it comes with 25k more than they make. McCollough gets angry as the men are making 40k while she is only amke 32k. Dixon says its probably because he has military exprience but she says that she also has military expirence. Hellman says its a "titty tax". She asks Ward how she can believe those guys make 40k and how she only make 32k but Ward is annoyed as she only makes 29,500. McCollough says its fucked up and they should go to Hopper and demand equal pay. Ward tells her she tried that last year and he said she needed to bring something else to the table. Ward tells her thats why she started taking night classes. McCollough asks Ward if she should tell them who is smuggling drugs in. Ward says it would be something but it would make lots of enemies.

Relationships[]

Romantic[]

  • Alex Vause (romantic; former) - McCullough makes Vause sell phone chargers for her, and quickly begins flirting with her. Eventually they kiss and have sex. When Vause expresses discomfort at their relationship due to her worries of Piper's infidelity, McCullough becomes frustrated and develops an obsession with her, even going as far to follow Piper home and tell her to leave Alex alone. Vause cuts off their relationship, and McCullough bitterly retaliates by having her transferred to FDC Cleveland.

Friends[]

  • B. Stratman (colleague) - Despite seeming to dislike most of the male COs, McCullough sympathizes with Stratman during the hostage ordeal.
  • Ryder Blake (colleague) - Blake and McCullough are shown to be friendly. In S6, she pays for his buy-in for Fantasy Inmate
  • Lee Dixon (colleague) - Dixon and McCullough are handcuffed together during the hostage ordeal
  • Baxter Bayley (colleague) - Baxter and McCullough seemed to get on well together.
  • Joel Luschek (colleague) - Luschek and McCullough seemed to be friendly in the bubble. However, McCullough seems not to think too highly of Luschek and his attitude towards other people.
  • Maritza Ramos (helped out) - McCullough seems to be friendly with Maritza when she becomes van driver and offers to give her a tampon when there is a shortage. Maritza teaches her how to do eye make up in return. Maritza later strips her, much to Artesian's annoyance but Maritza comforts her saying her body's beautiful.
  • Suzanne Warren (defended) - When Pidge and Ouija take Suzanne away, McCullough tries to defend Suzanne.
  • Tamika Ward - She opened up about her struggles with PTSD to her.
  • Stefanovic - he helps and often calms and protects her during her PTSD. He also has a crush on her, but she declines his advances.
  • Alex Vause (Former, Allies) - Started selling Phone chargers for her after being caught with a butter knife and some drugs trying to break into Greg Hellman's Locker. She gave Alex two choices: she could file a report that Alex had drugs and a knife, or rip it up if Alex sells portable phone chargers for her.

Enemies[]

  • Dayanara Diaz (held hostage) - At the very outset of the riot, McCullough is held at gun point by Dayanara with CO Humphrey.
  • Maria Ruiz (enemy) - During the riot, McCullough is forced by Maria to strip in front of the prison population. After this, McCullough targets Maria during fantasy inmate. Toward the end of the season 6, McCullough accepts Maria has changed since.
  • Hopper (criticised) - She comes to realise how bad F.I. really is and tells Hopper how she feels about it. He mocks her saying that they've never had a riot at MAX.
  • Alex Vause - She meddled in Alex's life by visiting Piper and also later by getting Alex transfered.
  • Greg Hellman - She grows tired of Hellman's actions in Season 7. She reveals that Hellman got angry when Vause started selling for her.

Memorable Quotes[]

"This place is fucked. Why do we even play Fantasy Inmate? It's horrible."
— McCullough to Rick Hopper.

Trivia[]

  • McCullough's shirt reads "B. McCullough". In "Riot FOMO", she reveals her name to be Artesian, in actuality, Artesian is her middle name, the B. standing for "Bambi", her first name.
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